Angus Garden

Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback Tony Romo spent a weekend in Mexico with Jessica Simpson a couple of weeks ago while Terrell Owens – Romo’s receiver and teammate – began to feel a deepness for his compadre.

T.O. sat down with Deion Sanders for the NFL Network and let the cat out of the bag. “So I sent them on that trip, you know, to get away for the bye week,” Owens said. “It doesn’t really matter what a person does during the off-time. That’s his personal life… What if he would have gone over there with myself?” One could only imagine that would have made Owens a happier man with a more secure heart.

As his emotions for Romo took over after Sunday’s 21-17 playoff loss to the New York Giants, Owens sobbed, “This is not about Tony. You guys can point the finger at him. You can talk about the vacation. And if you do that, it’s really unfair. It’s really unfair… It’s my quarterback…”

We at AngusGarden.com hope Owens’ feelings for his quarterback come to some resolve, perhaps over a weekend getaway to Cabo.

After some strict criticisms recently concerning holes in the Patriots Defense and on going allegations this season should be marked with an asterisk from confirmed cheating, the Patriots Owner Robert Kraft plans on proving once and for all the best team in NFL history by challenging former great NFL teams.

With cooperation from the Department of Defense, leading time and space warping theorist Dr. David Who and Professor John Frink Jr., the New England Patriots will travel back in time and play against the greatest NFL teams in history. Angus Garden was able to attain the upcoming time travel schedule.

Patriots 2008 Greatest Team in History Schedule

• Feb 10 1991 Redskins
• Feb 17 1971 Cowboys
• Feb 24 1996 Packers
• March 2 1994 49ers
• March 9 1979 Steelers
• March 16 1989 49ers
• March 23 1999 Rams
• March 30 1992 Cowboys
• April 6 1962 Packers
• April 13 1972 Dolphins
• April 20 1985 Bears

Some fans have requested to see the 2007 Patriots play the 2007 Patriots. Professor Frink explains the problem with such a game “Having a game like this is too dangerous. That much talent on one field could cause a rift in the space-time continuum which could form a black hole. Feeding on the “Moss Effect”, this black hole would grow out of control ending all life in this galaxy.”

NFL fans everywhere are understandable excited at the possibility of seeing what many consider some of the greatest games ever played in history. Due to contractual obligations most viewers will only be able to watch these games on the NFL network.

27 year old former NFL quarterback and canine boxing extraordinar Michael Vick surrendered to officials on Monday. It was an unusual move likely to show goodwill and get an early start on a what could be a long prison term.

As a commonwealth, Virginia takes punishment for criminals very serious. “We want Mr. Vick to feel the embarrassment that we have felt. You can’t just bring dogs to fight in Surry county without a permit.” said corrections officer Randy Johnson. “Because he thinks coming to jail 3 weeks early is going to help him, we decided to give him a lift in our special ’short bus’ to federal prison. That should show him we mean business around here, not the gambling-without-a-permit type of business, but you know what I mean. Our ’short bus’ is for the perps who think they can outsmart us. By going to prison without being sentenced yet, he must think hes a genius.”

Vick’s official sentence will be delivered in three weeks on December 10th. He could face a up to a maximum of 5 years 3 weeks in prison.

NBC released the 14 names of “B-list” cast members in the upcoming season of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice on Monday. The celebrities will be competing in business oriented task and the winner will receive $250,000 for their charity of choice.

After catching wind of former European heavyweight boxing champion Lennox Lewis getting the callback to appear on the show, Mike Tyson (former American world heavyweight boxing champion) responded to Monday’s announcement with disgust:

“I was already feeling pain that morning. I had just missed the new Price Is Right with Drew Carey and then I hear this BS. America doesn’t want to watch Lewis, they want to see me. I am the one who sang with Bobby Brown on Jimmy Kimmel Live. People love me. They love watching me. ABC loves me. I’m just ferocious. I want to eat NBC’s children.”